i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i believe in u and ur pee
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
