I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
