The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
