I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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