you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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