in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
