why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
