I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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