alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
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She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
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I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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