We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Me. At least after what I've been through.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
