No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
