i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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