Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize