dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Randomize
