I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
