I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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