the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
