he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
be right there i have to get my cape
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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