i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
