This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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