I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
3 2 1 whiskey
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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