I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
