How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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