plz talk dirty to me
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
