Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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