I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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