i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
