What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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