Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
