I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
