You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
