the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
