It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
