...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
