She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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