Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
