Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
