apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize