I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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