i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize