i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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