Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize