I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
