went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
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I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
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I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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