You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
