He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
