sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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