OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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