Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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