Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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