we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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