walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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