I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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