Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
