she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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