the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
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What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
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Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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