Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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