Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize