what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there's paper in my vomit.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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